Eat Your FIBRE!

Oh hey! Forgot to mention, we FINALLY got fibre ( ! x ∞ )

I mean, fkn seriously, they have been shouting about 96% of the city having fibre for months now and I'm like WHAT BOUT US?!. We can literally SEE the exchange from our home!

But hey, as we're late to the party we got the (XGS-PON-ready) good stuff; it's as fast as our local network1, and has been life-changing for the whole family.

If you haven't got fibre yet, GET FIBRE!

I give this advice because I realise that while even when a place becomes 100% fibre-ready, not 100% of people will actually get fibre. I'm advising that you do. Also, it's; at least for me; CHEAPER! Seriously, they were about to put by ADSL up to 27 quid!

So, I was in the unofficial broadband-complaint-pussies forums after the install, for some reason which now eludes me, and was struck by the number of folk complaining about slap-dash installations when it's basically a requirement that you be in the premises when they do the installation.

Soooo.. do folk just run away and lock themselves in a room for three hours or what? I mean, where were you?

This is literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have some say in the installation of a basic utility, something written right there into the rules (which they force you to read, and email you and SMS and holy shit!); legally, you MUST be there, to answer questions about the installation.

SO, after the basic requirement of "being on the premises", you you have a choice to BE there or not. To be present, or not. Guess which one I was.

It starts with routing.

No scrub that. It starts with sussing out who you are dealing with for the next (potentially) three hours of your life.

Find out his needs and wants. Find you commonalities (similar living space, a hobby). Become buddies within the first few seconds, then grow from there.

I chose a late appointment; a) less chance of cologne/after-shave. b) Aiming for the last appointment of his day. It's always a he.

Within a minute we are simpatico; he knows exactly what is going on; my goal, that of having the optical network feed all the way into my lobby, at the centre of our home.. is now his goal. Not only that, he is excited about it; he'll do whatever it takes to make it happen.

So, routing. Look, there's a seam in the building, the old granite work emphasizing the central column, do you see it? It would be best to route the cable up there, where the shadow will obscure it. This is a historic area! And from there, all the way to the lobby.

He only has a 3M cable with him. BUT, it is technically doable, maybe one of the other guys (at the time, I kid you not there are three other CityFibre vans nearby - we just got switched on and folk be wanting this fast shit, baby!) might have a longer cable in his van; he takes off, comes back with a longer cable, W00H00! Happy Days!

He is my hero; holding aloft a 5M cable still sealed in its bag.

I am his hero; saving some valuable time he gets to spend at home and avoiding the wriggly issue of mains wiring definitely in the vicinity (He'd looked understandably shocked when I pointed at my proposed location, but I feel it's best to keep all those messy pattresses and sockets together!) so while he was away I used my lovely NENG 683; a recent (maybe 18mo ago) purchase which has proven to be most accurate, reliable and superbly versatile! and no, I don't get a commission!; to figure out where those pesky live cables live and when he returns from his mission, I have the hole drilled all the way into the lobby, to exactly where I want the cable to go.

He sees the perfect hole, I give him the wink (adding that familiar tongue click); in that moment he loves me, and goes on to do his best work ever (and seriously, lol! some of the botch-jobs you see in these mad posts! OMG! It soooo serves you right! I mean, sheesh! you couldn't take two hours out of your life to just talk to another human being. Shame on you!).

The whole thing is done in under an hour.

for now..

;o)